The Great Dueling Adventure
by Shiggy-chan
Summary: This story is mad messed up! I'm hoping people will want me to continue so I can write some Anzu bashing! Rated for language...and teddy bears! This chapter's really short, so it won't take you long to read...please?
1. Kaiba and the cooties

Okay, this story is gonna be on the stupid side, but this is my first fic, so don't be mean! I was inspired by my friends Hatsuharu Sohma and Cassandra Rettop, so this will be a clash of two weird genres....Not to mention it's gonna make me seem like a dumbass.... I had a lot of ideas for a story, and in case you can't tell, I'm lying. I have had 2 ideas, and one of them is "Shigure gets laid". I decided against that...-.-; and decided to go for a Yu-Gi-Oh! fic to follow in Aki's footsteps. Sadly, I have no inspiration...except for tomatoes and artichokes. In the snow. And that would be theft! And theft is bad! Speaking of which, I don't own YGO or anything else, so don't yell at me, kay? It brings back baaaaad memories... And there will be severe Anzu bashing in this, so if you like her, I don't.  
  
THE GREAT DUELING ADVENTURE  
Chapter 1: Seto Kaiba and the Cooties  
  
As our young protagonist Yuugi was walking down the street, he was having an enlightening conversation with our, err....other protagonist, Yami."Really Yami? In ancient Egypt, they played Duel Monsters?" Yuugi was speaking out loud, causing people to look at him funny.(I know what that's like..It hurts...) " Yes Yuugi, for the up-teenth time, YES!!" So the conversation wasn't that enlightening, so what? "They really had cards and dueling arenas back then?" Again, the staring. "NO! NO DAMMIT! THEY WERE S- T-O-N-E T-A-B-L-E-T-S! Made of stone!" "Oh, okay then...sorry...." O.o "Damn straight you're sorry, foo'...."  
And so Yuugi kept walking in silence. That was until his nemesis approached him...from behind. " There you are Yuugi. I knew that I would find you and your stupidness doing stupid things here. I challenge you do a duel!" Kaiba took a glove from some old person and began slapping Yuugi with it. Then he stopped. Yuugi's voice got deeper as he said, "That's enough Kaiba! I told you before and I'll tell you again, I accept your challenge, and if I win, you have to buy me an ice cream cone like usual!" Yuugi and Kaiba were putting their decks in place on the ultra-uber-cool dueling arena that appeared out of nowhere."Very well, and if I win you have to bake me a cake! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Just then, Mokuba came running up to them. "Setoooooo! Look big brother, look at my teddy bear! Grrrrrrr.... I bummed it off of Rebecca!" Mokuba was making the Teddy bear do mean things, like growl and say "I will eat you aliiive!". Kaiba looked at him oddly." Mokuba! Put that down, it has cooties! Everything has cooties!"  
A little while later, after the whole teddy bear situation was solved, the duel was in full swing. Guess who was winning." Damn you Yuugi! I will now defeat you with my...Egyptian God Card, Obilisk the Tormentor!" Creepy Egyptian God card music was playing in the background as Obilisk and his big freakyness rose from the arena."Do you think I'm scared? Because I'm not, you foo'!"  
Seto and Yami dueled on, and since I am very lazy and don't want to write out the duel, Kaiba won. You know, for humor value. " Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I told you! I'm badass! Now get in this girly apron that I carry around with me!" Yami, since a deal is a deal, got into the pink frilly apron. It had a weird fuzzy thing on it....(The pattern people, the pattern.) "And now you must return to my really big house to make me a cake!" Yami folowed Kaiba to his house, as Kaiba was laughing diabolically.  
  
Mwa ha ha ha! That was the first chapter. I told you it would be stupid, didn't I? It was short too. Did Mokuba catch the cooties? What kind of cake is it? Is anyone else there, making cakes for Kaiba's huge addiction to sugar? I don't know yet, and no one will, unless they want to know, which means that you have to review. That's only because it's not worth the effort if no one's gonna read it...God I'm a slacker. Hee hee....If I write another chapter, it'll be longer. With Anzu bashing. 


	2. Cake

The same thing goes; I don't own YGO, okay. I'm poor! And hungry! Grrrrrrr......  
  
THE GREAT DUELING ADVENTURE  
Chapter two:Mmmm....cake.  
  
If you remember the events that took place last time, Yami/Yuugi lost a duel to Seto Kaiba, meaning that he didn't get any ice cream. Oh yeah, and now he has to make Kaiba a cake in a pink frilly apron with a fuzzy thing on it. Now we get to see what's going down in the ghetto! I mean...in Kaiba's house... ============================================================================ =========  
"Alright you foo'! Get cooking before I get Obilisk on your pointy ass again!" Yami decided to ignore that comment and went into the kitchen. We don't know how he knew where it was..... Anyway, what did Yami see when he got there? Ryou Bakura, that's what! And some other people, but mainly Ryou.  
  
"Hello, Yuugi. How are you today?" Ryou gave Yami a friendly smile.  
  
"I'm fine, thank you. Why are you making Kaiba a cake? Did you lose a duel too?"Yami loked puzzled.  
  
"Oh no, this is my new part time job! I needed the money because of Yami Bakura's new....uh...addiction." Ryou began acting cautiously.  
  
Yami chose not to answer that and let Ryou do his own thing. He decided that he'd better get to work on the cake....but Ryou was already baking one. He layed low for a while. From a distance, he could hear Kaiba yelling about his geniusness and how much he needed a pet Llama...... ============================================================================ ==========  
'Yeeeeesss.....Now I can finally get Kaiba all to myself! All I have to do is offer him this.....box of donuts!' The strange man in a strange robe was thinking these strange thoughts to himself while riding down the street on his strange motorcycle. Needless to say, it was strange. ============================================================================ ==========  
Yami awoke with a start."Hnn...? Damn! I fell asleep!" Yami kept cursing to himself. Actually, he cursed everytime he walked into anything, which he only did because of the pitch blackness around him."DAMMIT!" He squalled. He had walked into a wall. Using his ultra inner monologue, he talked to his wonder friend Yuugi. 'Hey Yuugi, you can see in the dark, right?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'DAMN YOU LEGATO! Take away Yuugi's special powers, will you?! You shall pay!!'  
  
'Yami, I think you need to calm down a little. Who's Legato anyway?'  
  
'No one. You take over. My shin hurts.'  
  
And with that, Yuugi lost 2 inches of his height and his deep masculine voice. Now little, Yuugi began to explore the house. Unlike Yami, Yuugi didn't know his way around the Kaiba mansion, so he had to guess where to go. Yami started to sing blues songs inside of Yuugi's head.  
  
" I woke up one mornin'" *harmonica solo* "And my feet were cold" *another harmonica solo, which we will now call Blue-chan* "I put on some socks" *Blue-chan* "They were...."  
  
"Shhh..." Yuugi said,"I hear something."  
  
Yami stopped his blues song and listened. "OooooOOoooOooOooOoOoooooo...." Yuugi stopped dead in his tracks. He was scared. "Hold me, Yami!" The spirit tryed to hold his young...uh...friend, but to no avail; he wasn't really there, so he sure as hell couldn't hold his...friend. They heard another ghost like noise and ran.  
  
"OoooOOOooOOooOOOo how I looooooOOoove YooooooUuuuu!" It was then that they noticed that it was a man singing a song. It was Kaiba. He had a serious case of bed-head. He was wearing some feety pajama's with little blue-eyes on them, and a beauty mask. You know, one of the cream ones that are all green and icky like. Tami and Yuugi screamed. Then Kaiba screamed.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! OooooooOOoOOOooooohhhhh...I LooOOOoOoOove YoooOOoUuuu..."  
  
Yuugi then noticed that he was sleep walking. Well, sleep eating. He had found the fridge and upon opening it, Yuugi saw what was inside...a mutated lobster like the one in Cowboy Bebop!(Note:I don't own that either) To be more precise, it was a multi-colored array of cake-ness, filled with nothing but pudding and, naturally, cake. Kaiba grabbed a cake and a fork, then left the room.  
  
'That was....odd.' Yuugi thought.  
  
'Not really. Last time he brought back 2.'Yami didn't seem that surprised at the events.  
  
'How do you know? Is that where you went off to?'  
  
'What? No! I would never! I was gussing, that's all...yeah..'  
  
Yuugi shrugged at what Yami said. They kept walking, walking and walking deeper into the strange estate of the Kaiba's.....  
  
============================================================================ ========================== Yay! Another chapter! I am SO proud! I hope this one'slonger..It should be, what with my space wasting and all. Well anyway...please review! Please?? Oh yeah, and I'm not hungry anymore! I had lunch...... 


	3. All alone in the Creepyness!

Still the same; I don't own anything. BLAH But I am so touched..I never thought people would actually read this, let alone review. And none of then are bad either...THANK YOU! I feel...so loved right now..You just don't even know... But there is one review that I didn't quite understand....One word was used, coherant, and there are several meanings that could be used in this situation, so would you mind clearing that up for me? Anyway, sorry for that..Here's the next chapter! Sorry that it isn't very impressive compared to the first one. I mean that stupidity wise, of course.  
  
THE GREAT DUELING ADVENTURE  
Chapter 3: All alone in the creepyness!  
  
In the last chapter, Yuugi/Yami got lost in the Kaiba mansion after falling asleep. They had a terrifying encounter with Kaiba, but they are still wandering with absolute readyness in case that happens again. Anyway, we now join are heros again, and they are still in the kitchen, thanks to Yuugis navigational errors.  
  
'Yuugi, we've been walking in circles for the past hour.' Yami said, half asleep.  
  
'How do you know?'  
  
'We're still in the kitchen.'  
  
'Oh.....well then you do it! Yu-Gi-Oooooooohhhhhhh!'  
  
In a big flash of light, Yuugi grew several inches and his hair got spikyer. In just a few seconds, Yami had made his way out if the kitchen and outside the mansion. Yuugi felt like a dumbass. Yami walked back to the Mutoh game store and went up the stairs to Yuugi's room. Yuugi then took over, got in his pajamas and went to bed.  
  
Meanwhile.....  
  
"Damn you! I told you to get Chocolate donuts, not these crappy glaze kind! What the hell is wrong with you foo'? I'm going to take control of your brain and make you feel like an idiot for this!" Marik was clearly angry. Who knows why, something to do with donuts.  
  
"I'm sorry Master! Noooooo! Please, please no! Not that, no not the shovel! I'm so sorry Master Marik! Please forgive me! Aaaaaaaahhhhh!"  
  
The creepy bald rare hunter man collapsed onto the floor in a big lumpy heap. His hand twitched occasionally, but he was pretty much motionless.  
  
"It serves you right, you fool. Get me the wrong kind of donuts! Ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku ku! I had big plans with those! Everyone knows that Seto Kaiba only likes chocolate and vanilla!"  
  
Just then, there was a knock on the window. Marik looked over and made a face, as though he was disgusted by what he saw.  
  
"What do you want? I told you that I don't love you, now get off my property before I call the Po-po!"  
  
"But, but...Marik...I love you! How could you be so cruel to your good side!(Is Marik the good one, or Malik?)" Malik looked absolutely shocked at Marik's harsh words as he presented his argument.  
  
"I don't give a damn who you love! I love Kaiba! He's rich, he's classy, and he likes kittens! So back away before I get the shotgun on your ass!"  
  
At that point, Malik ran away in tears, the boquet of roses smashed on the ground.  
  
============================================================================ =============== "Hey yuugi, wake up! It's past noon!" Anzu was outside of the Mutoh residence throwing rocks at Yuugi's window.  
  
"Yuugi, wake up. One of your friends is here for you." Yuugi's Grandfather shook his shoulder lightly. Yuugi awoke as his Grandfather was leaving. He got dressed, starting with underwear, then pants, then a shirt, then his doggy collar, then he did the belt dance, and finally put his jacket on. He went downstairs, told his grandpa good morning, and walked outside.  
  
"Aaaaaah! There's an alien on my lawn!"  
  
Yuugi grabbed the nearest garden gnome and began beating Anzu with it.  
  
"Ow! Stop it, ow! Yuugi, stop!"  
  
"It knows my name! Now I must kill it...it knows too much...."  
  
Yuugi kept beating it with the gnome. Jonouchi (Yay!) and Honda walked up to them.  
  
"Hey Yuug, what'cha doin'?"Jonouchi asked, his voice full of curiousity.  
  
"I'm beating this alien with a garden gnome. It knows my name!"Yuugi kept beating.  
  
"Jonouchi, Honda, help me!" Anzu was blocking her face with her arms.  
  
" Oh no! Stop Yuugi! That's Anzu! She's your moral support!"  
  
" What? Aaaah! I'm sorry...."  
  
"Don't be sorry Yuugi. As long as we're still friends, it doesn't matter. Friendship is the greatest thing ever! Our bond is our strength and nothing can stop us if we stick together, so let's go get ice cream!"  
  
"YAAAAAY!"  
  
Okay, I decided to end the chapter there. I got some reviews that asked me not to bash Anzu, so I didn't. Well, I kinda did, but that's only because I had already planned the garden gnome thing, in fact, I had already typed it, but I cahnged it so I wouldn't make it so that people didn't like me. I have emotional issues with the not liking.....Anyway, I just have a question that I really want someone to answer. If you like Anzu, why? Personally, I find her frienship rants annoying, but I suppose that if I heard why someone else likes her, I could start to like her too. Hell, it's happened before, so why not with her? Also, if you don't like Anzu and would like to tell me why, feel free to do so. I'd like to hear it so I can continue writing this story for everyone, not just Anzu haters. I think I should stop now..this is really dragging on and on....email your thoughts to me at animedragonfly@hotmail.com, or just write it in a review. Thanks for your reviews everyone, and I'll think about writing out the duel, kay? And..sorry about the friendship rant..I couldn't help myself.^^; And I know this chapter sucked! Sorry!! 


	4. Ice Cream and Swords

I still don't own anythng. *sniff*  
  
THE GREAT DUELING ADVENTURE  
Chapter 4: Ice Cream and Swords  
  
---------  
I recommend that you read the story my friend Hatsuharu Sohma's story called Jamech,a Tale as Old as Time. It's a hell of a lot more serious than my story, so read it if you're sick of stupid.^.~ It's a Sailor Moon story, in case you wanted to know...-.-;  
---------  
  
In the last chapter...nothing major happened. Yami/Yuugi found his way out of the mansion. That's about it.  
=============================================================================================================  
Yuugi/Yami, Jonouchi, Honda and Anzu were all sitting at a table eating ice cream at the local ice cream shop. Yuugi/Yami had vanilla, Jonouchi had chocolate, Honda had chocolate as well, and Anzu had strawberry. Anyway, they were all having a conversation about different things, but the county fair was coming up the most, always brought up by Anzu.  
  
"Hey Yuugi, do you know if Yami likes fairs? I'd like to go to the fair...fairs are fun..especially when you go with a boy and he buys you stuff..."  
  
Anzu was off in la-la land. Who knows where that is, I go to Zippy World. Everyone at the table, who were all boys, was looking at her like she was crazy.  
  
"Man, will you stop with the fair!? I didn't come here to hear you talk, I came here to get ice cream! I-C-E C-R-E-A-M!!!"  
  
"Honda, stop yelling! You have to remember that she's a girl, and girls talk about this stuff. Remember that she's buying, so be nice!"  
  
"Hey Jonouchi, I thought you were buying....?"  
  
"No, Yuug, she is."  
  
"I thought that Yuugi was buying."  
  
"I'm not buying it, you are, Honda."  
  
"What? But why do I have to do it 'fair girl'? I didn't bring any money..."  
  
This conversation went on and on.....in the end, Anzu was stuck buying.  
  
"Oh...my dear Anzu!! I shall cover your charges! Please, accept my offer. It makes me feel..like a man!"  
  
Everyone looked around.There was no one else there...was there? Then, they saw him. It was...dun dun dun! Otogi!  
  
"Otogi....eew....What are you doing here? Can't you see we're busy?" Anzu made the 'I'm better than you, foo'' face and turned away.  
  
"But Anzu! I thought that since we...."  
  
Otogi couldn't finish the sentence however, beacause at that moment....Seto Kaiba walked in!  
  
"What are you foo's doing? I wanna get some vanilla up in here, yo!"  
  
Everyone stared at him blankly. Otogi made a disgusted face.  
  
" You want vanilla? Did you really have to come here for that? Don't you get some back at your house...like last time?"  
  
"What? Kaiba! I thought that Yami was your only bitch!"  
  
This is......weird.....  
  
"He ain't my bitch...I won't tell who mine is."  
  
"But Yami was talking about when he spent the night at your mansion and..and..."  
  
Yuugi started to cry.  
  
"That time we be up in there playin' twister, foo'! We also had donuts! The chocolate kind! And a sword duel!"  
  
"Yes Yuugi, the chocolate kind." Yami said.  
  
"Your swords were chocolate?"  
  
"Yes foo'! Now get outta my sight before I get Blue eyes on your freaky ass!"  
  
"Whatever happened to Obilisk?"Otogi asked smugly like.  
  
"That's none of your business!"  
  
So, everyone left the ice cream parlor and went home. Kaiba, however, was still merrily licking his Vanilla cone for minutes afterwards.  
===============================================================  
Yay! Another chapter done! I'm not too fond of this chapter, and I'm out of ideas.....  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Kaiba Actually Gets the Cooties!

Mwa ha ha! I can't believe that this story is actually at the 5th chapter!  
  
I am completely dedicated to this story for now, but after I finish I intend to   
  
write a story about Yu Yu Hakusho and/or a story about..something else....   
  
anyway.....he..he..he..?  
  
THE GREAT DUELING ADVENTURE  
  
Chapter 5:Kaiba actually gets the cooties!  
  
If you recall the events of the last chapter, nothing happened. Well, part of Kaiba's   
  
not so mysterious, yet mysterious past became clear! We also learned that Kaiba likes Vanilla,  
  
and not just chocolate...and cake.  
  
===========================================================================  
  
"Yes! Finally I am able to present my gift to Kaiba! I will be loved at last!"  
  
"But Marik, I love you! You would really betray me, my love? I thought we had something   
  
special!!"  
  
"hut up! I was using you like a puppet! You got the information about Kaiba,   
  
and now I don't you anymore!"   
  
===========================================================================  
  
"Uugghhhh....."  
  
Kaiba was lying in bed with....the cooties! He had been up all night, not being able to   
  
sleep with his horrible disease that he had no clue that he had.  
  
"Bakura! Ryou you foo'! I'm callin' you out!"  
  
"Yes master Kaiba, how may I help you?"  
  
Ryou had walked into the room. He was wearing a shnazzy black tux, and he looked like a butler.   
  
But that's okay, because that's what he was. O.o  
  
"I want you to call everyone I know and tell them to get their lazy asses down here now! *cough   
  
cough*" Kaiba continued to hack and cough and stuff.  
  
"Yes, Master Kaiba. I will do that right away."  
  
Bakura left through the big mohogany doors. Kaiba fell asleep seconds after Ryou left the room.  
  
=============================================================================  
  
"Hey, Yami..."  
  
"Yeeeeesss Yuugi?"  
  
"Do you think that we should go to the fair with everyone else? Anzu will be exited."  
  
"Yeeeess, Yuugi, she would be, but I don't know. DON'T DRINK THE TEA!!!!"  
  
"What? Anyway, does that man we're going? If we are, we have to leave now." Yuugi said as   
  
he finished getting dressed.  
  
"Blaaaah! I'm a llama!"  
  
"I'll take that as a yes...."  
  
At that moment, the phone rang. Yuugi ran down the stairs to answerit while Yami layed in bed   
  
smoking an imaginary cigarette and muttered the phrase "How was it for you?" in different   
  
tones.  
  
"Moshi moshi!"  
  
"Uhhh...Hi Yuugi?"Answered Ryous cavity sweet voice,"Kaiba said that everyone he knows has to   
  
come over, so could you bring Anzu,Honda and Jonouchi with you when you come?"  
  
"Well, when am I supposed to be there?"  
  
"Umm...in 5 minutes."  
  
"Okay. I guess we can....."  
  
Before Yuugi could finish his sentence, Ryou hung up.  
  
=====================================================================  
  
Okay, that's it for now. I'm feeling very BLAH right now, for personal reasons, so I think I'll  
  
quit while I'm ahead. R+R, kay? It's make me feel better. Unless you're mean, that would make   
  
me want an ice cube. And I'd quit writing. Because you shouldn't even review if you don't   
  
like it. Except when I'm not deppessed. Then they're funny. But not now. I'm too fat to laugh. 


	6. They Have Arrived!

Wow. it's been a long time...and I haven't even typed anyting! Oh well....I'm trying, damn you! Anyway, I don't own anything, and don't rub it in. I'm sad enough as it is. Yeah...skool is kool. Also, in this chapter I will be using lines that people that have reviewed wrote. If you don't understand, just read. They'll be underlined, and if you want me to put something in the next chappy, pwease reveiw! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
"Well, I guess we should go and get everyone, Yami." Yuugi said as he walked into the room. Yami was lying on he bed, just as he was before Yuugi left.  
  
"Yeeees Yuugi. It is just as you say. Who was it on the telephone? Was it one of theose Jahova people again?"  
  
"No, it was Ryou. He said that Kaiba said that we should go to his mansion to see him. We have to bring Jonouchi, Honda, and Anz...."  
  
"DON'T DRINK THE TEA! DON'T DO IT YUUGI!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
  
Yami had run up to Yuugi and began hugging his legs while contuinuing to plead for Yugi to not bring Anzu. I mean...the Tea.  
  
"What is wrong with you these days, Yami? You're craaazy. What's woth the tea stuff, too? I don't think I get it." Yuugi looked up absent mindedly at the ceiling. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ah aha ha ah *cough cough* ha ha ha ha ha! I have done it at last! My perfect fungus is complete!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Bakura, when are my 'guests' going to get here?" Kaiba was lying in his big fluffy bed, contemplating what to do.  
  
"They should arrive shorlty, your inquisitiveness. I don't know how that coconut got here....and Yuugi will be bringing Anzu...the TEA may be poisoned Sire, don't drink it!"  
  
"Bakura, will you please be more coherant and abstain from bashing Anzu? She has great signifigance to the story."  
  
Bakura was looking around aimlessly. ".......what?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "WE HAVE TO HURRY, YAMI!!" Yuugi was shouting at Yami, who was walking at a very slow pace.  
  
"Yeah Yami, we have to hurry." All of the otheres I'm too lazy to write out they're names....said together.  
  
"Yeeees Yuugi, I shall."  
  
So, with Yami walking faster, they managed to get to the Kaiba residence. They rang the doorbell, and Bakura answered.  
  
"It's about damn time that you mo fo's got here! Lord Kaiba has been awaiting your arrival."  
  
They walked through the large mansion. DUN DUN DUN!!  
  
"I've been here before" (blue-chan) "more than one time" (blue-chan) "and now I'm back again' (blue-chan) "And I feel sexy on my new socks"  
  
"SHUT UP!!!!!" ============================================================================ ============ Okay, so I didn't do everything I said I'd do, and this chapter isn't that funny...but I tryed! I'm hoping that I can type the next chapter later on tonight when I get home from school....I hope....AND JACOB NEEDS TO READ THIS!!! grrrrrr..... 


	7. THE FUNGUS!

Hello, my faithful (or not so faithful) readers! Mwa ha ha! I have returned! Returned triumphantly! With triumph! Okay then.well, I've been having a good time typing this in typing class.. and I owe you guys for not emailing me and making me go crazy over it. ^^ Thanks. I know no one's been reading this, and honestly, it just makes me feel better to think someone is, so blah to the Nazis and the communists.  
  
"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Marik! I am bad!"  
  
Marik was standing at the door with Malik close behind him. A fly buzzed past. They still just stood there, doing nothing. Bakura just stared at them.  
  
"Okaaaaaay.what's your point?"  
  
"Well.I.I'm evil! And I am Marik! And.I baked some cookies and donuts and cakes for Kaiba, because he is my Koibitooooooooo!!!" Marik was quite gushy.  
  
"Oh.cake? I'm sure he'll be quite pleased. Do come in."  
  
Bakura walked inside, and Marik made an evil looking smirk behind his back. Malik looked inquisitive.  
  
"Kaiba, are you okay?"  
  
Yuugi was kneeling at his bedside.  
  
"No, you dolt! I'm dying of the cooties! Now back away before I call security to frisk your scary ass, even though you would probably like it."  
  
Yami started laughing hysterically.  
  
"SHUT UP, YOU DUMB ASS MO FO! I have called you here.to discuss.my untimely death, and my.will."  
  
"GASP!"  
  
"Who said that?! Anyway, Yuugi, you get nothing. Jonouchi, you get this Kuribou card. Anzu, you get this roll of duct tape, so that one day you might decide to wrap it around your mouth so that you won't talk anymore. Mokuba, you get..."  
  
"Master Kaiba, another guest is here. He has cake."  
  
"Really? Bring him in."  
  
"Yes Sir." Bakura walked out and quickly brought Marik in. As soon as he walked in the room, a giant mushroom grew out from Kaiba's hand.  
  
"AAAAAAH! MUSHROOOM!!!! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!"  
  
Everyone was laughing at him. Laughing and Laughing, pointing, and laughing.  
  
"IT AIN'T NOT FUNNY YOU GODDAMN MOFOS! THIS FUNGUS BE AFFECTIN MY NIFTY INTELLLLLLLLLLIGEEEENNNCEEE.."  
  
"Yees, you are affecting his intelligence. He will lose his business and.Mokuba..."  
  
"HEY! STAY AWAY FROM MY BROOOTHER! TAKE THIIIIIS!"  
  
At that moment, Kaiba lunged forward and touched Yami's pretty, spiky hair."  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" dun dun dun! What wil;l happen? Will Kaiba die of fungus? I don't know! Ahhh! 


End file.
